All I Need.

Today I want..
to eat chicken and N'shima. to dance like a crazy woman in church. to wear a chitenga. to wander dusty paths to random villages full of beautiful. broken, and precious people. I want to catch a taxi to town and be crammed in with strangers and chickens and things like what and so. I want to drink a Stoney and pay for it with Kwacha. I want to greet everyone with "Muli bwange? Bweno! Muli bwange?" I want to drink tea three times a day. I want the day to end with a brilliant orange sunset that fades into a night of a million stars.

I want to study and teach. and study and teach. and study and teach. I want to teach old people. I want to teach teenagers. I want to teach moms & dads. I want to teach kiddos. I want to teach them about Jesus. I want a classroom full of kids with a chalkboard and dusty floors and open, expectant hearts. I want a dozen or two smiling faces with checked shirts, trousers and skirts. I want to teach them about Jesus, yes, but also about the water cycle, and phonics, and multiplication tables, and germs and John Locke. I want them to learn how to read and write in the language that they think in. And in a language they can use for opportunities far beyond their village. I want to love them deeply. To know their names and their stories. To pray for them. To cry with and for them. To know their dreams. To laugh at their silliness. To challenge them. To see them the way Jesus does. To love them with His everlasting, unfailing love.

this is what I want.

but today...
I have a different gift.

today I have Texas.
I have black pants, black collared shirt, black socks, black shoes, green apron. I have pumpkin spice lattes. I have upside down caramel macchiatos. I have Walter. I have a Bible on my phone, a journal in my hand, and my heart open and listening. I have a family with potty-training, WALL-E, and Bible sing-along songs. I have a stinky, but lovable dog who sometimes leaves "presents" on my rug. I have a   gracious couple who have discipled and nurtured me and done whatever they can to help accomplish God's call in my life, even if that means letting me live with them. I have kiff music on my ipod. I have a meeting with ladies who keep the admin of our local church flowing. I have a Natelet coming into the world, and a friend who needs help sorting and preparing for his arrival. I have Arepas. I have a city that is really mine to live in, and love on, and embrace fully. I have a local church who knows how to do community, and a vision and a passion for the global church. I have the promise of one more fall-ish day in the forecast. And I have the confidence that this, here, and now, is exactly the precise place on this planet I am supposed to be.
which is all I need.

so, Africa-dreams, will have to find their little home in my heart and settle there once more, waiting patiently until it's time to fly again. :)

Apparently, God Answers Prayer.

So I was going through some of my old journals this afternoon.
I found this entry from February 2006, when I was 16 and a Junior in high school. I actually remember sitting in my old silver Volvo in the parking lot at Whatcom writing this... but little did I know what God was doing... 

2/13/06
Daddy, I've never had an overwhelming passion for Africa. I never really felt called or wanted to go there. But ever since that night You've started a fire in my heart. I want to make a difference there.  When I found out today that every day 6500 Africans of AIDS and 9500 contract it! How many of those 6500 don't know You? And how many of those 9500 will be part of tomorrow's 6500? Or next week? Or next year? And who will save them? Who will share Your hope with them? I hope it will be me! "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'' - Isaiah 6:8.
Daddy, let Your consuming fire burn in me!  Deepen my brokenheartedness for the people of Africa, give me a broken-hearted love for them. Help me to love them like You do. Help me to love the fatherless and the orphans and the widows. Open up a road that I might take...
I lift up this continent to You. I pray for unity among all of the countries. I ask for healing in the AIDS epidemic. I also ask for the nation of South Africa. God, show Your healing hands and loving heart there. Send people to answer Your call. Provide doctors and nurses and teachers of Your word. Fill this nation with Your glory.  "But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted perish." - Psalm 9:18. "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; You encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more." - Psalm 10:17-18. 

I love it! I cannot help but just sit here and laugh, grinning from ear to ear. Boy, did God answer those prayers!!! And how about that crazy prayer for South Africa? I didn't know pretty much anything about that country. I had gotten a magazine from Global Expeditions, a ministry of Teen Mania (who I now happen to be about 30 minutes away from in Texas. haha!) and had cut out all the countries they had trips for and glued them one by one in my journal, so that I'd pray for some nations. And yet...  how perfect was it that South Africa was in the right place in that journal. And how I'm even seeing that prayer answered. I just spent time with many friends who answering that prayer. Exactly one month ago today, I was sitting in class at UCT with 200 people who are studying to be doctors in South Africa! This is ridiculous. How amazing is God?!

So, the moral of the story is this... God answers prayer. He is faithful. And His timing? Incredibly perfect. The passion He's put in your heart? It's there for a reason, and if you commit it to Him and ask Him to grow it, He will. It may take a long time before you see it come to fruition, but, man oh man, when it comes...  you'll be blown out of the water!

Greetings from Zambia!!!

Hello from Zambia!!
Things have been fantastic thus far.
I arrived here late Wednesday night. And the rest of my team arrived Thursday & Friday. (There are 4 of us)
It has been an absolute blast. My heart is so happy to be back on African soil. It's so amazing how this all feels so familiar and comforting to me. The sights, sounds and smells. I was wondering how similar Zambia would be to Uganda. And thus far it seems like the difference between the US and Canada. On the surface, many things look the same, and yet as you sink deeper, the cultural differences come out.
Zambia is economically and politically very stable and growing. There are a lot of well to do people here, and the middle class definitely appears. Many people have smart phones (which are really expensive)  and the prices of some goods are quite comprable to US prices. There are many nice cars around and fancy shops (the mall is HUGE and is fancier than many malls I've been to in the US).  Crime rates are lower here than in Uganda, and you can just feel the difference as you are out and about as a foreigner.
Many things though are very similar. We still have regular power cuts here (3 nights weekly), we still eat Posho (though here it is called Sheema) :(  church is still loud and crazy and full of dancing and singing and sound systems entirely too large for such small buildings. But, oh how I love it.  Today we visited the youth group of a church in a village called Roma. We were supposed to just come and meet the people, but of course the pastor wanted us to preach. We were unprepared, but God gave us all a short word, and it turned out well. We then had a fellowship time with the youth. They were so much fun. I met with some girls, most of whom were about 15-16, and we talked. They played with my hair (because it was so different than theirs) and it of course turned into a giant frizz ball. haha.  They taught me some phrases in the local language (there are several common ones here, and at the moment I can't remember the name of the one that is most common) and then they decided it was time I learned some African dances. OH MY GOODNESS. It was hilarious. We laughed and laughed and I did my best to dance. These girls were amazing dancers. And I had fun trying. haha.  Corey and Rachel played with the kids who showed up, and Brandon spent time talking with the guys. We all had a blast.  We're going back tomorrow and I am so excited to see these precious girls again. We all hugged and laughed and didn't want to be parted.

Next week (as far as the plan now stands.. hahaha)  we'll be working in a nearby village called Gripps, doing lots of teaching. Monday & Tuesday are national holidays here, so those days we'll have lots of teaching opportunities in the village. We are hoping to set up a discipleship program in the village. One of the organizations we are working with here (Grassroots International) does tons of community development programs in the village. They run a school for ages K-8, have adult basic education courses,  run a program of animal husbandry, sponsor students in secondary school, have installed boreholes (wells for clean water), have a tailoring program, and are about to start a carpentry program. Life in Gripps is definitely improving. And yet... something is still missing. The community & NGO leaders recognize that changing external circumstances does make a difference, but until a person changes the way they think, they will always be trapped in a poverty mentality. So, this is no small task we are undertaking. Please pray for us!

Also, we've been joined by a girl named Lydia. She is from PA and was part of a team that was just here for two weeks. She'll be joining us in ministry and she's a lot of fun to have around.

Prayer Requests:
-Teaching!! We need to hear from God what to teach, and how to teach it.
- Health & physical protection (right now we're all fine, but these things always tend to crop up)
-Cultural adaptation. We want to be able to navigate the culture well, and build awesome relationships. With teaching this can be a very tricky area, so please pray for wisdom.
-Finances. We're a little short on what we need still.

*Hopefully we'll get some pictures up soon.

Thanks!!

I Can't Wait

The journey of planning this trip has been ridiculous. So many ups and downs, so many twists and turns. Our current focus has by necessity been fundraising, which can be really difficult. And with a to-do list that is a mile long, as I am still in school that's going full swing, things have been pretty crazy.

Tonight, in an effort to focus my heart,  I was browsing some Zambia pictures and this one jumped out at me:

I caught sight of the sign. Shop Rite. oh joy of all joys. I was overcome with an ecstatic joy that soon I'd be in Shop Rite again. (There is one in Kampala I got to visit several times and it was like a magical wonderland. It's just a normal grocery store.. but when you've been living in a smaller town with only supermarkets, it's overwhelming.)

And then I was flooded with reminders. And I just can't wait.

I'm excited to hear Mzungu! Mzungu! everywhere I go (Or perhaps a different word for white person. I'll find out quickly I'm sure. haha)  I can't wait for crowded taxi rides, eating chapatis, and MTN signs everywhere. I want to buy some Omo washing powder to wash my clothes with (it smells the best for sure!) I'm excited for the ever-changing plans and the steady rhythm of the Zambian day, run more by relationships and less by the clock. Bring on the mozzy nets, the squatty potties, and the Ugali (Posho). Oh my heart is leaping at all of these things. I cannot wait. Fresh pineapples, mangos, and passion fruit. YUM. People whose hearts are huge and smiles are as big and warm as the sun. Jajas wrapped in their colorful clothes. Goats. Chickens on the taxi. Having a million reasons to shrug it off with "T.I.A!" Life in the bush bush. I cannot wait.

And yet, these memories are all from far away lands. Zambia will be similar to Uganda in many respects. And yet, I cannot wait to see the differences. Zambia, I cannot wait to meet you. To learn your phrases, names, places, sights and sounds. I'm excited to meet your people, hear your stories, and sing your songs.

Then there's South Africa. Ahhh. Words fail me. I seriously can't even wait. Dear ZA, I've been dreaming of you for more than four full years now. I've heard so much about you, I've basically already fallen in love with you, I can't wait to meet you for real. The anticipation? Be still my heart. I just might jump out of my skin. :D

My first trip to the beloved continent found me an 18 year old, bright eyed optimist ready to change the world for Jesus. I had great intentions but was so clueless as to where I was really going. Not only that, passion & good intentions will only get you so far. This time, I'm 23 and I definitely don't even remotely have it figured out. I've realized that while Jesus lives in me, He also lives in you. And we can help each other see Him even more clearly. This time I don't just come with passion, I come trained and equipped to serve you. I have gifts to give you, beloved ones, and I can't wait to give them!

Oh, beloved continent, I've been waiting a long time to see you again. :)
and I'm overjoyed with anticipation!
See you soon!
Love,
Kati Rose

risks and dreams

WOW. I was going back through my blog, and I found this post saved as a draft....

and all I can say is, wow.

what a long way I have come.

what amazing healing has happened in my heart.

how amazing and faithful is my God!

This was originally written January 6, 2009:

Fear. it eats me alive some days. Surrounds me and then sneaks up in the darkness. Routinely in the evening it clamps its icy iron fingers around my heart. And then I am lost. paralysed. the actual event is momentary, but its chill lasts for some time. I just freeze. All logical thinking is gone. And all I know is that I am and that I hurt. The shock wears off and the numbness with it, and then as the rush of pain comes in like a flash flood. All I feel is alone.

As I lie in bed, waiting for sleep to come, sometimes I imagine going back to Uganda. My dreams come alive. I am there, safe and happy. Sharing Jesus with the world. with a family of my own. But it is always shattered by the sudden surge of fear. I will always be white. I will always stick out and thus be a target. Villages aren't safe, they are frequently raided and burned and those houses have no burglar bars. Houses can always be broken into, ambushes can come from anywhere. The words come from somewhere deep and dark.. a poisonous whisper, "You are not safe. You will be found. And no one will protect you. Everything will be stolen from you again. And it will be much worse than last time." Fear. Much more fear. Memories flash back. Adrenaline. PAIN. So much for sleep. again.

You see, that night I lost so much. And in all of it, my dreams are gone. Eaten up by fear. Long gone in the aftermath of the storm. Innocence and the much greater trust I had in my Father... gone. Shattered. the pieces seem to small even to be picked up.

But...

I went to Africa with an incorrect understanding of reality. In my mind the violence and pain was contained in the past. The hurts were very real and still lingering but I was going to be part of the healing. I never expected that the danger was still real. That violence still touches so much of everyday life. Whoops. The invincibility of youth, my own lack of understanding and my enthusiastic, effervescent hope and trust in the God of the Universe for transformation, as well as some whole life in Whatcom County innocence created a false perception of what it would really be like. But now I've experienced it. A small piece.

that orange dust will be forever in my soul.. the memories are so vivid. Which in most cases is a huge blessing. I can see it. taste it. feel it. And I long to go back. for the joy. the richness. the challenge. the scarcity. the beauty.

What I've come to see is this.. anything truly GOOD comes with risks. But it is also worth taking those risks.

we now interrupt your regularly scheduled programing...

Ladies and Gentleman, may I have your attention please?

I have announcement to make.

Are you ready to hear my secret?

drum roll please.

I know where Jesus is calling me to go next!

:D

and it's the best equation ever:

Jesus+ me+ YWAM+ children+ East Africa= tons of amazing awesomeness + one happy me!

I've applied to do another school with YWAM.

This one is called a CRS (Children at Risk School).

Here's the summary provided on the base's website:

"The Children at Risk school (CRS) is for those who want to work with or on behalf of at-risk children around the world. CRS is a nine month study track (3 month lecture phase, 6 month field assignment) teaching specific skills needed for working with orphans, the disabled, refugees and street children amongst others. The goal of the school is to multiply leaders who will champion the cause of children through social, political, judicial and spiritual intervention. Students experience God’s heart for justice, defending the cause of the fatherless, rescuing the poor, the weak and the oppressed."

So the lecture phase of the school that I will be doing takes place in Switzerland. And the outreach takes place in Rwanda. Woot Woot.

The school starts in April 2010.

:D can you feel my excitement?!

Oh, Jesus is so amazing!

DRC- you are not forgotten

The people in the eastern DRC are living a nightmare. In the north, the LRA is still raiding villages and abducting women and children. And in the south, there is a three way fight that continues between the government troops, Hutu forces who fled there following the Rwandan genocide, a rebel band of Tutsis who fear genocide once more. All sides have committed atrocities. And now their refugee camps have been burned. They have no food. no shelter. no safety. The NGOs have stopped operating. Please, keep the people of the DRC in your prayers. You can read more news articles in this link: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7702099.stm] Justice seems far away. But my heart is trying to rest in the fact that our God is a god of justice and love, and one day He will make all things right!




"I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.


I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.



The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.


The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because He was angry. Smoke rose from His nostrils; consuming fire came from His mouth, burning coals blazed out of it


He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet. He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.



He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him— the dark rain clouds of the sky. Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced, with hailstones and bolts of lightning.



The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded. He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies,
great bolts of lightning and routed them. The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of breath from your nostrils.



He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.



They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me."



Psalm 18:1-19 NIV.
Photos from BBC News.