Dusty Barren Land

Rain.
It is good for my soul.
I love it.
It feels like home.
It puts a smile on my face.
Yup, even in the perpetually rainy Pacific North West.

I love the sound of rain.
I love falling asleep to it. Or waking up to it.
I love hearing it on a metal roof.
I love a glorious torrential downpour.
I love the warm rain in Uganda.
I love that magical misty rain in WA.
And puddle jumping? OH SO MUCH FUN.
Especially in my cute polka dot rain boots!
And dancing in the rain? it's the best.

See, what's fantastic is that rain brings life. You can see it in the incredible green-ness of western WA.
And thus, lack of rain brings death. As I see daily in dry, dusty, drought-ravaged east Texas.
You see, here we haven't had enough rain in a looong time. Dead trees. Dead leaves. Dead Cows.

but do you know what else is utterly amazing about rain?
God says that is what His Word is like!
"For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it." -Isaiah 55:10-11

Now, when it rains, things always get wet. Everything. The ground soaks up the water, the plants drink it, and everything turns lush and green and happy. Why? Because we need water to have life!

Do you know what else is true? We need God's word to have life! We need Him, desperately. He is our love, He is our life, He is our Lord. Without Him we are dead. And so, when I don't have enough of Him in my life, when I am not spending enough time soaking up in His word, I start to see dead patches in my heart. The leaves turn brown, the grass gets crunchy, and I start to look and feel haggard. God's word brings me life, it reveals to me more of what He is like, so I can fall more and more in love with God and know HIm better and better. Which the Bible says is life in John 17:3.

Also, God says His word is like snow.
Snow inspires wonder. It makes us giddy with delight.
We love snow. We sing songs about it. We pray for it at Christmas. We make paper cut-outs of it and tape them to our windows.
God's word is like that too.
It should inspire wonder. not just at the words, but at the Speaker, Himself.
Seeing who God is, hearing what He's done, and how much He loves us, should make us giddy with delight.
In Psalm 119:103 it is declared that God's words are sweeter than honey!
I want a love like this. I want to love God and His word this way.
It's not always easy.
Believe me, when reading the Bible is your homework, it can sometimes be difficult to engage your heart.
I want to declare that I love you, Lord, and this love is worth the work and the fight and the everyday ordinary moments.
So...
"Let it rain, let it pour, what we have is worth fighting for!"

Constant.

This was one of my homework questions today. And I was overwhelmed by it. So I thought I'd share my answer.

48. Discuss the interaction you've had with the providence and sovereignty of God in your life. How has God directed you, how have you responded? If you feel you screwed it up do you believe God is creative enough to use it in the best way?

My lanta. Uhh.. I wasn’t aware you wanted us to write an autobiography for a homework question. ☺
Welcome to my life. God’s providence and sovereignty? Constant. Everywhere. In Everything. In the face of the darkest darkness I could ever imagine? Absolutely.

Honestly, I could write for hours, hundreds of pages. God is faithful; He never abandons me. I could talk for hours about everything I have seen God do in my life. Just thinking about it is moving me to tears. He is so good.

I have seen God’s providence in the little things, like cars.
I have seen His providence in the big things like family and guiding me all over the world.
I have seen it in terrible tragedy.
I have seen it in glorious joy.
I have seen the providence of God in more incredible friendships than I can number.
I have seen it in financial provision, in His comfort on a rainy night.
I have seen it in the moon and the stars and felt in the joy of a smile that just can’t stop, a heart that is overflowing with joy that moves me to do happy dances all over the place, and the kind of laughter that you just can’t stop, and leaves you with sore abs afterwards.
I’ve seen it in a taxi that came along in the middle of a monsoon on a random dirt back road in the middle of a Ugandan village.
I’ve seen it in a kindergarten class in a small Christian school in East Texas that once terrified me, who ended up stealing my heart.
I’ve seen it everywhere: in my life, in the lives of friends & family, in the lives of random strangers.
All in all, I can say this: God’s providence is constant.

up to date!

Oh me, oh my.
Once again, I have completely neglected this blog.
My apologies.
Life has been crazy. If I ever thought it was crazy before, I had no idea!
Let's see...
I am 3 days and 1 exam away from being a Latin teacher for an entire semester.

Some of my students performing a skit in Latin. It's about beards. :)

Which is crazy. I am so stretched and challenged in more ways than I could ever imagine, every single day in the classroom. It is a time for me to learn grace, to learn to lean on God, and to walk humbly before everyone, including my students. I feel like I am constantly making mistakes, some with the actual language work, and some with the teaching, which is hard. However, I am definitely learning 1,000 ways NOT to teach Latin, as well as few ways to actually teach Latin. I do have some consolation in that my students actually know more Latin than they did at the beginning of the year, so we are actually learning! Yippee!

Last month I went on a week-long pastoral outreach in Michigan!

Jess & I at an amazing coffee shop called Lemonjello! :D
It was amazing. I got to visit my lovely lovely friend Jessica and work with her church. Having been on staff at a similar-size church previously, it was very cool to see how another church did things. I learned a lot and got to work with amazing people! And on either end of this outreach, I got to stop in Chicago and spend time with my wonderful friend Brian who is attending school at Wheaton College. The whole thing was amazingly divinely orchestrated and filled my soul to the full. Oh, it was glorious. :D


Brian & I at the Bean in Chicago!

School of the Bible itself has been great. We have excellent teaching and I am learning to see God in a whole new way. He is so incredibly gracious and loving and kind.
Last week and this week we've been tackling the Nature of God, which primarily has had to do with God's foreknowledge. It's intense to say the least. We've been examining different views of what it means that God is all-knowing and the implications of each view. My brain hurts constantly. But it's been a time to really ask the hard questions and find out if my thinking lines up with what the Bible expresses on the issue.
Looking Ahead:

OUTREACH!
We've got two more outreaches in this school! And I am excited for both of them.

THe next one is coming in March. We'll spend a week doing teachings and working with local ministries.
We were just presented with location options yesterday, so I am still praying through them.
our choices?
-Houston, TX
-Florida
-Mexico

And... our main outreach in July?

I am going to ZAMBIA! That's right, folks, my return to Africa is imminent!
:D
Also, I am tacking on a 2.5 week trip to South Africa to visit a friend and check out ministry opportunities.
Hooray!!
So.. I'll be spending 6.5 weeks in Africa this summer. Woot Woot!

And...
We'll be doing the Proverbs Project
which is a scientific inductive study of the book of Proverbs.
Before Christmas break.
Oh my.
I am excited.
It will be crazy.
But I know I am going to learn heaps!

Hooray! Christmas Break! I CANNOT WAIT to come home to the glorious PNW and see my wonderful family and friends. :D

A Tail of Two Goats

We were given an assignment to tell the events of Leviticus 16 (The Day of Atonement) in story form.

Behold, I give you:
A Tail of Two Goats By John Martindale, Rachel Kelley, & KatiRose Johnston
*Note: this story may be a bit irreverent at times, but we believe in a God who laughs :)

Once upon a time, in a land sort of far away, there lived two goats: Mahli and Mushi. These were no ordinary goats, pecked at by chickens or chased by the dogs, they were pampered goats, who oft lunched on their master Aaron’s linen underwear.



Mahli & Mushi were not the only animals of the house; they had a good friend, Bartholomew the bull. He loved to eat grass, swat flies with his tail, and in his eyes there dwelt a certain type of rage and fire, more blazing than Bob the other Bull. One day Mahli & Mushi observed something most disconcerting: their master came out, quite in a tizzy, and took Bartholomew the bull away. They heard him murmur under his breath, “Lest I become BBQ, like my sons became BBQ, I will take the bull instead of me.”



Many minutes passed restlessly, until Aaron, their master, returned. Bartholomew was nowhere to be seen, and Aaron’s previously spotless white garments were stained a shocking shade of crimson. Suddenly, Mahli had an epiphany. He turned to Mushi and eloquently waxed: “Roses are red, violets are blue, our master came home without Bartholomew.” Mushi responded, “What could this mean? What did he do? Could this be the end of me and you?” Then Aaron walked to the corner of house, and away scampered a scared little mouse. With one fell swoop he grabbed the dice. The goats mused, “this could be nice. Perhaps, this could mean games and fun.” But his face turned solemn and he said, “My dear little goats, come.“ 


He lead them to the Tent of Meeting where scared little sheep could be heard bleating. And he took up the dice in his hand, and let them fall into the sand. As they fell, and he saw them lay, his gaze turned Malhi’s way.


As they trudged along, something frightening came into view: a bull roasting, it looked like a giant BBQ. Petrified, he wondered within, could this be Bartholomew, who paid the price for my master and his kin? And onward his master walked, until at the Ark of the Covenant they stopped.



And his master slowly pulled from his side a knife. It glimmered in the candlelight. And upon the ground, he took a knee. And said, with tears in his eyes, “Malhi, I am so sorry. The Israelite people have made lots of mistakes. They’ve rebelled against the Lord and profaned His name. They have prostituted their hearts with idolatry to the golden calf, which “accidentally” came out of the fire I kindled; thus, the BBQ. So God has chosen you, to make these people holy, to wipe their slate clean, and be foreshadowing of the greatest thing mankind has ever seen. This is a picture of One’s who coming as a sacrifice once and for all. So that goats like you won’t have to take the fall. Then, grievously, Aaron put the knife to his throat. And that was the end of Malhi the goat. His blood was poured upon the alter, he paid the momentary price. But unfortunately there was more to this sacrifice.

Mushi, saw his master returned, and once again wondered what could be the meaning. Where was his friend? Would this bloodbath ever end? Bewildered, he looked into Aaron’s eyes, sure that his fate would soon include his demise. What happened next was much to his surprise. As his master laid his hands upon his head, the confessions he heard filled him with dread. Aaron spoke of every imaginable heinous, abhorrent, detestable, nefarious, odious, atrocious, flagrant, villainous and pernicious act that could be done. From the least to the greatest, sin was partaken in by everyone. What was to be done? Aaron lifted his hands and ushered him away into a room where the chosen man bathed. “Get out of the tub, there’ s no longer any need to scrub. You’re clean! Now take this goat far away to the wastelands, nevermore to be seen”. So they journeyed over the hills and far away, around the bushes, and past stacks of hay, until no house or vineyard could be seen, they even crossed a great ravine. With the chosen one no longer in sight, Mushi realized the magnitude of his plight. Forlorn, he wandered aimlessly, and turned and tossed, he knew that he was desperately lost. Thus he carried their sins far, far away, into the setting sun and the end of the day.

So, children, when you’re tempted to sin, remember the predicament Mushi the goat is in.

Why?

"I thought you wanted to go to Africa. Why are you going to spend another year in Texas?"

Good question.

"Those five reasons you're excited about SOTB sound great, but pretty personal-growth centered. How is this missions? Where does this fit into your vision for missions in the future?"

Also good question.

Answer:

First off, here's my vision: To disciple nations through the education of children
(Yes, those nations are hopefully African ones, but if God calls me somewhere else, I am not saying I won't go :) )

That's a big vision.

In Uganda the greatest need I saw within the church was the need for good discipleship. There are so many people who have such passion for serving and following Jesus, which is awesome! However, there is a HUGE LACK of good teaching, and of sound doctrine. Many pastors have never really learned how to study the Bible. Tradition, weird theology, and beliefs from past tribal religions have been mixed together. A Biblical view of God's nature and character is ESSENTIAL for right relationship with Him.

Children are the most receptive age group to the Gospel. 80% of people who come to Christ do so before the age of 12. Long-term they are the most effective to disciple as well, as they have their entire life ahead of them! They can meet Jesus at a young age and choose to follow Him, making wise decisions as they grow avoiding so much unnecessary baggage and heartache. Also, I absolutely ADORE children and have been blessed to already spend so many years teaching them about Jesus.

Education? Math, Reading, Spelling, Science kind of school? Yes! Why?
Do you know how many hours a week children are in school?
6 hours a day x 5 days a week = 30 hours of influence per week.
30 hours per week x 31 weeks of school = 930 hours of influence in 9 months.

Wohoo! Now can you imagine if children spent those 930 hours learning not only how to read, write, reason, do arithmetic, and science, but seeing God as the author of each subject? If each day, in each subject they saw how it revealed WHO GOD IS (aka His character and nature)? What if the motivation for going to school wasn't just so you didn't end up flipping burgers for the rest of your life, but to know God and love Him more and to be more like Him? Sound impossible? It's not. That's the kind of school I got to student teach Kindergarten in last year, and where I'll get to teach Latin this year!

So, how does School Of The Bible (SOTB) fit into all of this?
If I want to be a teacher in a school that aims to base every subject on the truths of God's Word, and reveals His character and nature, I'd better have a solid, Biblical understanding of God's nature and character, and a solid knowledge of how to study the Bible and interpret things IN CONTEXT!

If I am called to disciple others, I'd better make sure that my own foundation is secure and surely founded on the Word of God. I had better make sure that my vision of God is correct, before I say "follow me as I follow Christ".

Doctors need years and years of training before they fully begin their work. Why would missionaries, who are doing a job that is just as important, think that they need hardly any training? I want to be the most effective and successful that I can when I finally am back in Africa (or wherever). I want to be trained well, and this is an EXCELLENT place to be trained.

As a bonus, I get tons of extra teaching experience and an opportunity to put this whole Biblical foundation of education into practice!

Any more questions? I am happy to answer them!

Excitement. :D

I'm excited. So, so, so excited!

Why?

Because of this next season of my life, this next new adventure.

School of the Bible.

ahh.. just saying it sends shivers all through me. :)

Here are 5 reasons why:

#1 I am stoked for excellent teaching. We get to learn about and discuss all sorts of amazing topics: the character and nature of God, Hermeneutics (how to study the Bible), Homiletics (how to teach & preach effectively), the nature of sin, the atonement, Old Testament history, New Testament history, and all sorts of other wonderful things. Being privy to many mealtime discussions with SOTB students from last year only whetted my appetite. It is going to be amazing. And this school has been running for something like 20 years. And other schools in other nations have been built off this model. It's incredible.

#2 I am excited to build a solid, Biblical foundation in my life. Over the years I've had excellent teaching and discipleship from a variety of people and ministries, and I am so thankful for it. But, I've never had any formal training on how to really study the Bible. And I've seen firsthand the transformation that comes from the result of digging so deep into the Word all the time. I know that I have areas in my life that need to be built up Biblically and so I am so excited for that to happen.

#3 I can't wait to jump into this time, because I know that it will totally blow my view and understanding of God wide open. I cannot wait to know Him more and love Him more than I ever have before. After all, "The end of all learning is to know God, and out of that knowledge to love and imitate Him."

#4 I get to learn to teach adults. Currently, teaching adults absolutely terrifies me. Give me children and tell me to teach them just about anything, and it will be a piece of cake. Tell me to teach adults almost anything, and I'll be shakier than a patriotic jello mold (ironic, as that was part of my final project presentation last year (to a bunch of adults) and I'm pretty sure I never stopped shaking.) This year in SOTB, I'll have to do at least 3 major teachings for my class, and then on our outreaches (yes, a total of 3: Two 1 week in the US, then a 1 month overseas outreach) I'll be doing hours and hours of teaching. Terrifying, and yet exciting. Wohoo. Growth!

#5 I get to be a real teacher. Yes, it's true. On the YWAM campus is a K-12 School (with about 150 students) where I got to be a student teacher last year. It's called Christian Heritage School. And you're looking at the new 8th Grade Latin teacher. I am so excited to get to put into practice all the things I learned last year in my teacher training. This is such a great place to be a first year teacher, as I am under the mentorship of incredibly talent teachers who have been teaching for years. It's going to be a huge challenge, but I am so excited.

and there you have it... 5 reasons I'm beyond stoked for this next school.

Ready... Set... SOTB!

SOTB.

That stands for School Of The Bible.

it's 11 months long.

It's in Tyler, Texas (where I was last year for TFN)

and it's what I am doing next.

and it's going to rock my world.

Oh, so excited.

I'll be posting more about it soon.. so stay tuned.

But for now...

You can read more about the details and specifics here.

and here are a couple of videos:

After the Storm

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

this is an excerpt from a song that has become very near and dear to my heart. It's called "After the Storm" by Mumford and Sons. And it's delightful. To me, this speaks hope. It speaks life. I think of that moment after a long hike, when you reach the crest of the hill and you see an incredible view. Yes, I believe that for this season of my life. I must be near the top of this hill. I've caught a glimpse of the view, and it takes my breath away. I am headed to a good land with my Love. It does not mean that nothing bad will ever happen again. On the contrary, I know that there are storms and battles, probably ones greater than I can imagine, that await me. But, I will walk on, walk on, walk on, for He is with me. He is faithful. And because of Him, I can live my life with "grace in my heart and flowers in my hair". Yum.

listen to this piece of beauty right here:

Favorite

This is one of my favorite quotes ever. It was written by William Bradford, the Governor of the Pilgrims (from Plymouth, in 1620).
In case it's been a while since you've pondered it, the journey that they took was incredible. and ridiculous. They had already been driven from their homes, imprisoned, and barely escaped to Holland. After 10 years there, working back breaking labour, they realized that this was not the place they were called to be. They dreamed of a land where they could be truly free to worship God freely, and do what was right by their conscience. And God called them to it. Their journey was insane. Across the Atlantic ocean in a tiny boat in stormy weather. And when they finally reached their destination (which, actually, they landed hundreds of miles north of where they intended to land) no one was waiting for them. They were starting from scratch. In this Bradford tells what the Pilgrims told the neigh-sayers in Holland. And it has become great encouragement and inspiration to me. So.. here you go!

It was answered, that all great and honorable actions are accompanied with great difficulties, and must be both enterprised and overcome with answerable courages.
It was granted the dangers were great, but not desperate; the difficulties were many, but not invincible.

For though there were many of them likely, yet they were not certain; it might be sundry (many) of the things feared might never befall; others by Provident care and the use of good means, might in a great measure be prevented; and all of them, through the help of God, by fortitude and patience, might either be borne or overcome.

True it was, that such attempts were not to be made and undertaken without good ground and reason; not rashly or lightly as many have done for curiosity or hope of gain.

But their condition was not ordinary; their ends were good and honorable; their calling lawful and urgent; and therefore they might expect the blessing of God in their proceeding.

Yes, though they should lose their lives in this action, yet might they have comfort in the same, and their endeavors would be honorable.

TFN Grad Speech

I spoke at my graduation from Teachers For The Nations (TFN). Here's what I said:

I came to TFN expecting to be trained to be a teacher. I figured I'd learn things like classroom management and curriculum development from a Christian perspective and we'd talk about the importance of education in transforming communities and that would be it. Ha ha ha. Little did I know I was coming to a school that would challenge me in every possible way and teach me how to think Biblically. I did learn about classroom management and curriculum development, but I learned so much more than that. I learned that education and all transformation all has to start with the individual. And consequently I became a much stronger individual. I learned to embrace so many of the things that make me distinctly KatiRose. For example: I love puns, banjo music, and recycling. But I was also challenged to examine the ideas and values I've held for so long and see if they were Biblical. And many things changed. Speaking of things that changed, at the beginning of TFN I didn't know how to cook and was terrified of Kindergartners. But as I was providentially assigned to assist in cooking dinner for 30 people every night, and "student-teaching" the 11 cutest, smartest, most amazing Reading Class students ever… all of that changed. Also, I have a much stronger appreciation and love for my country; my state; my city; and most importantly, my family. I have learned the importance of the covenant relationship of the church, and been challenged by a greater understanding of the intensity of the covenant of marriage, and the challenge and privilege of having children.


I learned that education is so much more than memorizing answers and spitting them back out on a page, it is more than moving information from the mind of the teacher to the mind of the student. Education involves the whole person. As we've heard said a million times this year, "the end of all learning is to know God and to love Him more." And the greatest thing is that we've seen this lived out. Our teachers haven't just been transferring their knowledge to our minds, they've captured our hearts. And now, as TFN graduates, we have this challenge. How will we use this treasure we've been entrusted with? Will we be found good and faithful servants? Or will we just burry it in the dirt? Will those Red Books be falling apart from use, or just look impressive, collecting dust on your bookshelf? No, we must invest this treasure and use it for the expansion of God's Kingdom. How you do that will be up to You and God (we're all individuals). However, in case you hadn't already heard, there is the additional requirement of getting married, having 10 children so we can take over the Legislative branch, and save America. So remember, it's all Bambi's fault, and "¡Matale si puedes!"

Law is Coeval. Or God is not arbitrary and harsh

so I've been terrible at updating this thing. and I am sorry. And I really haven't been writing much, ok anything at all, about what we've been learning in school. That is not because we aren't learning anything, it's because we are learning so much that I don't even know where to start. So.. I'll start here and we'll see what happens.

1. You shall have no other gods before me.
2. You shall not make for yourselves any idols
3. You shall not use the name of the Lord, your God in vain.
4. Remember the sabbath day by keeping it holy.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. You shall not murder.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet.

My Reading Class (Kindergarten) children are learning the 10 commandments and are going to recite them this Thursday night at our spring program. Words cannot describe how proud of them I am.

The Ten Commandments are a huge part of a key foundational truth that I have learned this year. I've always known that these were God's laws and that they were designed for right living. But as to why God picked these 10, I didn't have a very good idea. It seemed that He was God and He picked them, so that ought to be good enough. In my mind, these laws came into being on Mt.Sinai in Exodus when God gave Moses the tablets. But... that is not where they begin.

We have learned that God's law is coeval. Coeval (co-evil for pronunciation) means "brought into existence at the same time as" something. God's law is coeval with the creation of man. It is not a cause/effect thing, and these laws aren't just the arbitrary will of God. They are the description of how we are designed to live. For example, a car engine is designed to use oil. It's not some clever marketing trick by the oil companies, that they threw into the owner's manual of each car, it is the design of the car. A car can run without oil, but not for long. Just as we can live contrary to our design, seemingly with no side affects. For a while. And then... things deteriorate. I love how much more I see God's heart in these commands; how I can see that He isn't harsh and arbitrary, but He truly loves us and wants the best for us. This is the super condensed version, so hopefully that makes sense.

150 (Ode to a Conclusion)

Dear Conclusion,
I hate writing you.
I Just want to go to sleep.
But you are standing in the way.
What can I say that hasn’t already been said?
In the introduction, of course.
Repetition, repetition, repletion
Man, I am just kidding
Or am I?
I’ll leave that for you to decide
Take it back like counter-clockwise
One hundred and fifty words
Are a lot to demand.
I hate the rehash
I don’t have anything new to say
I’d rather write another paragraph instead
Wouldn’t that be better?
I think so.
Only at 94 or so.
Man, we’ve got a ways to go
Kind of like 6 year olds learning to ask questions
The kids who don’t mind if Wilbur dies: bacon is delicious
But are afraid to read the end because they know
Charlotte’s a goner
And that’s too sad to stand.
Like this conclusion.
Concluded.
Respectfully yours,
KatiRose

camping out

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, being convinced of what we do not see." -NET

a verse I've read, heard, studied, quoted, and preached thousands of times. A verse I need to camp out in again.

sure of what I hope for.
what do I hope for?
I hope for a good future.
I hope for a deeper relationship with God.
I hope to be used for His kingdom and His glory.
I hope for Africa.
I hope for restoration.
I hope for fruit from the ashes.
I hope for healing.
I hope that He is enough.
I hope that His promises are true.
I hope for justice.
I hope for grace.
I hope for deep, lasting relationships.
I hope for a best friend I don't have to say goodbye to.
l hope for adventure.
I hope for plane tickets.

Certain of what I do not see.
the reality of the unseen God.
the immortal invisible unending God.
the all powerful all sustaining gracious Lover of my soul.
certain that He is.
certain that He is all I need.
certain that He is faithful. Even when I am faithless.
certain that I can trust Him with all my heart, all my soul, and all my physical life.
certain that the above statement sounds ridiculous. oh, Father, help my unbelief.
certain that He sees the injustice and hears the cries of the broken hearts of an entire continent. certain that He has a good plan for ALL of His beautiful children.
certain that my heart has only hit the beginning of feeling how He feels and loving how He loves.
certain that He makes all things new.
certain that He works all things together for my good.
certain that my definition of good has to be redefined to not necessarily include the words safe, easy and comfortable.
certain that loving is never wasted.
certain that change is always a part of my life.
certain that some relationships are only for a season. certain that this fact doesn't make them any less valid or worthy of my time, heart, attention or resources.
certain that I am worth more than many sparrows, and all my needs shall be supplied.
certain that He knows the deepest desires of my heart.
certain that I need more faith.
certain that if I ask, He'll grow it in me.
:)

Impossible?

14 Is anything impossible for the Lord? I will return to you when the season comes round again and Sarah will have a son.”- Genesis 18:14

This verse rocks. The God of the impossible. It's amazing enough that He created an entire nation out of a 90 year old woman and a 99 year old man. Miraculous. Fills my day with hope.

but here's the kicker I would have missed if this verse hadn't burned into my brain this morning:

Just a chapter later and we get to the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah and the fate of Lot's daughters. Let's face it, these poor girls had lived through a pretty rough and intense 48 hours: Angels show up at their house, then the crazy lustful men of the city surround it and demand the angels. Instead their father offers THEM to the crowd, in the cultural practice that protecting honorary guests is of higher value than one's daughters, but luckily the crowd doesn't go for it. The next morning they have to flee their city and leave behind their "husbands" (betrothed) and leave behind everything they know, without a backward glance. Unfortunately their mom can't stand that, takes a look over her shoulder and is turned into a pillar of salt. Now the entire plain has been reduced to ashes and the two girls are hiding in the mountains with their dad. Not entirely ridiculous that dispair sets in.

The other thing to keep in mind here, is that at many points in the text we see that the culture of these utterly wicked cities have settled in to the hearts and minds of the entire family. But here's where fear takes hold, culture kicks in, and the God of the impossible gets lost.

"30 Lot went up from Zoar with his two daughters and settled in the mountains because he was afraid to live in Zoar. So he lived in a cave with his two daughters. 31 Later the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man anywhere nearby to lie with us, according to the way of all the world." - Genesis 19:30-31

and the daughters resort to their own plan. This breaks my heart. So sad. But how often do I completely forget the God of the impossible, this amazing God who is the best thing there is in all the world? Too often. How often do I let fear control my life and take matters into my own hands instead of waiting for God's perfect timing? Too often. And just how deep has the "way of all the world" sunk into my thinking? Probably more than I want to admit. My prayer is that through this time I will learn to lean on the God of the impossible rather than the way of all the world.

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Tidings of Comfort and Joy

"When Lamech had lived 182 years, he had a son. He named him Noah and said, “He will comfort us in the labor and painful toil of our hands caused by the ground the LORD has cursed.” - Genesis 5:28-29

this verse stuck out to me this morning in my reading. In fact I feel as though I've never seen it. Lamech was right, as Noah did bring comfort from the curse, just not how his father envisioned it. The comfort from the curse came through the violent redemption of the Flood. Which got me thinking about why his father said that. And then I was very curious to know what Noah's name means. According to a quick search the name Noah could mean : peaceful, comforter, long-lived, or wanderer. All very cool. Noah was an amazing guy.

It was cool to find this verse as I've started reading the Bible in 90 days. So today I ventured from the fresh, perfect creation to the point where "every thought and imagination of their hearts were continually evil" and then got to see God's redemption plan for even that, as the flood and the rebuilding began. Amazing. God is so faithful. And I love looking at things from His perspective. It brings my heart comfort, to rest in the hands of He who definitely knows what He is doing.

Fresh Bread

1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

that's a nice sentence. and it's true. which is awesome. but having read it so many times, the astonishing amazing God who began the beginning and created the entire universe is somehow lost on me. Until I read it like this:
In the beginning {1 tn The translation assumes that the form translated “beginning” is in the absolute state rather than the construct (“in the beginning of,” or “when God created”). In other words, the clause in v. 1 is a main clause, v. 2 has three clauses that are descriptive and supply background information, and v. 3 begins the narrative sequence proper. The referent of the word “beginning” has to be defined from the context since there is no beginning or ending with God.
sn In the beginning. The verse refers to the beginning of the world as we know it; it affirms that it is entirely the product of the creation of God. But there are two ways that this verse can be interpreted: (1) It may be taken to refer to the original act of creation with the rest of the events on the days of creation completing it. This would mean that the disjunctive clauses of v. 2 break the sequence of the creative work of the first day. (2) It may be taken as a summary statement of what the chapter will record, that is, vv. 3–31 are about God’s creating the world as we know it. If the first view is adopted, then we have a reference here to original creation; if the second view is taken, then Genesis itself does not account for the original creation of matter. To follow this view does not deny that the Bible teaches that God created everything out of nothing (cf. John 1:3) – it simply says that Genesis is not making that affirmation. This second view presupposes the existence of pre-existent matter, when God said, “Let there be light.” The first view includes the description of the primordial state as part of the events of day}
God {2 sn God. This frequently used Hebrew name for God (אֱלֹהִים,’elohim ) is a plural form. When it refers to the one true God, the singular verb is normally used, as here. The plural form indicates majesty; the name stresses God’s sovereignty and incomparability – he is the “God of gods.” }
created {3 tn The English verb “create” captures well the meaning of the Hebrew term in this context. The verb בָּרָא (bara’) always describes the divine activity of fashioning something new, fresh, and perfect. The verb does not necessarily describe creation out of nothing (see, for example, v. 27, where it refers to the creation of man); it often stresses forming anew, reforming, renewing (see Ps 51:10; Isa 43:15, 65:17).}

the heavens and the earth {Or “the entire universe”; or “the sky and the dry land.” This phrase is often interpreted as a merism, referring to the entire ordered universe, including the heavens and the earth and everything in them. The “heavens and the earth” were completed in seven days (see Gen 2:1) and are characterized by fixed laws (see Jer 33:25). “Heavens” refers specifically to the sky, created on the second day (see v. 8), while “earth” refers specifically to the dry land, created on the third day (see v. 10). Both are distinct from the sea/seas (see v. 10 and Exod 20:11).}

my mind is blown.

that's one verse.

And suddenly it's amazingly new and fresh. Reading these notes, which I must tell you only get better as the verses go on, have given me new eyes. It really was like reading it for the very first time.This is the New English Translation (NET) Bible and it is amazing.

you can read it here. (Don't worry, you only have to read the notes if you want, just over over the asterisks and they pop up)

Fresh Bread from an always fresh God for a fresh year. Yehaw.