I'm hungry.
I'm fasting and I'm hungry.
(I know, one isn't supposed to talk about fasting whilst fasting, but... )
I've officially hit 24 hours without food, and my tummy is RUMBLING.
I am hungry.
Yes, I am hungry for food.
But also for so much more...
I am hungry for a better life.
A life abundant.
A life where Perfect Love casts out all of my fear.
A life where I am mindful
-of time
-of money
-of food
-of other people's hearts
-of my own heart
-of God's heart
A life of deep relationship with Jesus, where my ache to be known overcomes my fear of being known, where my hunger to know Him more and more is continually fed and fueled.
A life of wholeness.
I'm hungry for depth, connections, purpose, focus, and rhythm. I'm hungry for roots and wings.
Everything I'm hungry for is something I deeply ache for, and yet am terrified of. And so far, that fear has kept me paralyzed. I procrastinate. I put it on the back burner. I am too busy. I'll face it when I absolutely have to. Well, I'm running out of excuses. I'm not too busy anymore. And these are choices staring me in the face. It's time to stop running. It's time to face my fears. And so far this fast has shown me it's possible.
So, I'm hungry and I'm scared, but that's what it takes sometimes.
Here's to growth. Here's to change. Here's to 2013 and the marvelous mystery it holds.
Most of all, here's to the One who holds it all, in Whom my fearing heart can safely trust.
